Although a year has passed, it's still difficult for me at times; to realise that the cafe is a great big hole in the ground at what was once Shop 13, 228 Flinders Street, Melbourne. Alas, population growth in Melbourne really needed the new train station so I take solace knowing the cafe was demolished for a noble cause.
One year ago, I closed the cafe of my childhood dreams on my 30th birthday, which was also the 30th of June, which was also EOFY, which was also a Friday, which was also a real 'good luck' date on the auspicious calendar. Truth be told, I did that because I didn't want to carry on doing my taxes into the new financial year, knowing the cafe was ordered to close by August anyway (by the Melbourne Metro Project Authority). However as life would have it, I have plenty of taxes to sort out because I ended up continuing taking cake orders & events into the new year.
The week after the cafe closed, I had all these big, tall ideas of 'the next logical step'. I was determined to 'stay relevant' as all sorts of people had echoed into my ears, start writing a new business plan, continue my fight with the Metro Rail Authority (for a pathetic excuse of 'compensation' for having to close the cafe in the first place) and sprint into the next chapter of Alice Nivens. Unfortunately, I was hit with a serious bout of vertigo which lingered for three months and bound me to my bed for weeks on end.
I spent these months quivering in bed, with enormous amounts of time to think; and repeatedly circling all these 'must do ASAP' lists around my head. It was frantic, and kept me up at night. I wasn't sure where on earth I was heading, but also - which way? I rebranded & launched Alice Nivens Cakery Studio as soon as I could stand up again & found a local kitchen to bake at. A pop-up store at William Sonoma signified my first foray back into the market. But alas, I felt lost & unmotivated - what exactly, is the next goal? Ever since full time, all encompassing work stopped in my life, I got lost & began this downhill spiral of self doubt.
A few trips back home to Hong Kong, the occasional emotional break down (oh the tears!), a family tragedy, a new exercise routine (I started reformer pilates which is huge - people who know me will testify the only exercise I did in the last five years was working the cafe floor) & many deep, soulful conversations with my loved ones later - I am ready for the World again.
It's time to recreate, rediscover, reimagine. I've finally realised it's okay not to have a clear vision right now. A dear friend gently delivered 'remember to go slowly, it doesn't need to be perfect'.
So here it is - the next chapter for Alice Nivens. There will be cakes, so much cake - you will still be able to get a cake made by moi! But also, there will be adventures; the food kind which I explored long before I was Alice. There will be stories, because we are all storied people. Most of all, there will be endless adventure with or without a plan (which is a first for me, those that know me will know I formerly couldn't live without a plan)! xo
“Say goodnight to the silver of old
Even when wrong, we’re right
Far beyond the world of diamonds n’ gold
I’ve come to realise where happiness lies
I want you to know, I know
And unlike all the times before
When life comes alive, the past moves aside
No regrets & no remorse.”